Tuesday, 21 October 2008

Sincere thanks to Mr L. Cohen (for Alex)

I know that flattery, will get me nowhere
so let's try sincerity, maybe we can go there
but let's not talk of promises and things we can't untie
your eyes are full of sorrow, that's no way to say, goodbye

I loved you in the morning, your kisses deep and warm
Your head against the pillow, like a shapeless, ageless form
You know my love will go with you, like a ship in the night
just take a piece and bite it off, when the lights go out

Who knows where this story ends, in formless, wordless hours
I would hold onto your hand, for an age with all my powers
But's let's not get romantic and hold onto notions of love lost
When there's daylight and joy, who needs pain, longing and cost?

So next time I see your smiling face, your dancing eyes
I will open up my arms to you and feel you beneath your disguise
You know I'll wait for you patiently, I have nowhere I need to be
But always know that I only want for you to always feel you're free

You've opened up my heart to love, and now all the world has colour
I can laugh in the rain with friends and seek comfort in another
So when it comes time for parting once more I'll be all the more wise
and because of you I'll keep my heart warm when I cry into your eyes

When the ship calls me on board to up and leave this town
I'll cast a final glance across the bow to you, but never form a frown
I'll just bask in this inner glow and thank you for your sweet light
You can be sure of one thing, my love, I'll be thinking of you, tonight.

Sunday, 19 October 2008

On maturity

Maturity...funny concept.
One minute you're mature, the next you're staid and boring.
I'm not sure where I fit in on the scale...ze gads i know i try to be zany and impulsive, but deep down there lurks the dreaded maturity monster inside the bowels of my consciousness.
Dealing with relationships...now there's a way to gauge such a concept.
How do I relate to friends? family? lovers?
Am I considerate? unselfish? caring? loving? jealous? petty? vindictive? shallow? lost? alone? cold?
I'd wager I'm a few of the above, for argument's sake just pick the good ones and own them yourself. There are more, of course, these just jumped out at me.
Learning about love truly is the pinnacle of what we, as humans, can achieve on this planet.
Love for ourselves, first and foremost, love for another - whether it be your mother or the hobo on the street corner, George W. Bush, or an angelic 20 year old with a body to die for.
You can see where I've been recently...on the cold and ageless road of love.
Why cold? Surely love is warm, hot, burning, yearning, growing, feeding. Maybe it is, but as Michael Stipe once said, in 'Good Advices', from Fables of the Reconstruction (circa 1985):
"...at the end of the day, when there are no friends, when there are no lovers - who are you going to turn to?"
I think we can turn to something at this point. I think as long as we have an innate love for ourselves, our sense of self-worth and self-esteem can withstand any slings and arrows of outrageous fortune that may wreak havoc with our lives among love and learning.
This is the cold love that I have for myself in my strongest hours. It binds me, and holds me tight to my inner strength...it distances me from the trivial and temporary flashes of passion, lust, longing and jealousy, and is there for me when all the lights go out on the horizon line.
I may have a cold heart, but at its core there is love.
I am content and I will survive.

Saturday, 18 October 2008

'I wanna be your last-ditch fall-back plan...'

It started with a smile,
friendly eyes in a busy body
I was looking around
for fun in a new country, a new town

You were never on my list
of things to do before I die
You grace these pages of our lives
as life and love pass us by

When you came, you came again
You loved it when I held you close
I wondered what to feel when you said
to me, 'You make me feel so safe'

We lay in the rain, warm and happy
as our lips embraced with the water
You led me home to show me how
you were still your father's daughter

I wanna be your last-ditch fall-back plan
I wanna turn you on when the lights go out
I wanna leave you as a light falls on water
to meet again amongst all this laughter

and if the moment just seems lost
don't feel like you should count the cost
and if you're feeling insecure
i feel the same way you can be sure

when in sober moments we reflect
our love will diminish and dissect
so let's not dwell on what could be
rather feel the now and be free

if you'll love me one more time
i won't care if you're never mine
because shooting stars come and go
how precious you are, you may never know

Friday, 17 October 2008

Of laptop addictions...

Well I'm back.
And I am well and truly addicted to my laptop.
Dell XPS M1330...oh how I love you.
As far as one can love an inanimate object, that is, and that, as history tells us, is pretty far.
I would put this little baby in the blow up doll category...sure it may not have the same holes in the same places, but hell...it turns me on like no other three dimensional non-living entity.
If she died, was lost, stolen, ran away from home, or other such unforeseen calamaties, what would I do?
Get a new one pretty quickly with the insurance money, is what.
So why and how am I addicted?
I wasn't a year ago...I didn't even have my XPS then.
I had a computer at work and one at home, but I wasn't obsessed.
I blame football fanaticism, gmail email, journalism, social networking and the greatest of all evils - facebook and my space.
I used to only have a few of these to contend with, but now I have them all.
And I love it.
It's amazing how much thought you can apply to your day, how many little contributions you can make to hundreds of people's lives around this universe simply by being logged on to the www.
OK, I'm done.
My sleeping pills are starting to work and it's time for a break.
No doubt I will see you again in cyberspace...I look forward to making your acquaintance.

Monday, 13 October 2008

Kingston in the Fall

Salut and hi,

Living ici dans a bilingual country peut etre somewhat confusing.
All right, I'll stop with the stupid double entendres now, or whatever the hell I was doing.
While it's a fact that you can pick up random snatches of French just reading the back of the cereal packet all over Canada, here in Kingston we're not really a bilingual town. In fact we're totally Englais round these parts - that is people speak English unless they are frogs hanging out with other frogs.
So I haven't spoken a word of frog since I got to these here parts...it was only on a day trip into the Western-most region of Quebec to Wakefield that I dabbled in a morsel wafer thin de francais.
But Kingston is a town with an interesting past. It was originally settled by the frogs, way back around the 17th century I believe, and I think used to be called Frontenac. Of course I could check these facts on wikipedia, but that wouldn't be half as fun as my half-assed historical ramblings.
So, later on the Anglo-Saxons did their usual thing of pantsing the froggies on the battlefields of North America, and Frontenac became Anglofied and it's name changed to the present Kingston.
I believe this town was in fact the capital of Canada for some time, but again if you want a history lesson you should hop on the wwf and find out that shit for yerself.
So here I am in the 'limestone city' - so called for the local stone base to the land, which has been incorporated into many of the old school buildings around here. Kingston, well the downtown area anyway, is full of nice old buildings, which go right down to city hall on the Lake Ontario waterfront. It's a small city full of character, not a totally pristine and sterile city like my hometown Perth, but an interesting mix of old but stylish architecture and grungy slightly dingy alley ways.
It's now been nearly 4 months since I took up residence here in K-Town, and I'm finally starting to feel like a local. I've got a favourite local haunt - an earthy Irish pub called the Toucan, or the 'Touc' to those in the know. It's full of fun, down-to-earth Canucks who like to drink, eat, carouse, watch a bit of sport and generally act the goat, as Professor Cuthbert Calculas of Tin Tin fame would say.
As well as the Touc, there is nearby downtown Bubba's for your late night saturated fat fix - mine of choice is that renowned heart-stopper endemic to Quebec - poutine - which is hot chips and little pieces of cheese curd covered in piping hot gravy. Hmm...you just need a companion with cpr training to accompany you and you're fine.
Other highlights of the downtown area that I've sampled recently are the Sleepless Goat co-op cafe, which has yummy hippie type fare, and Greco's Greek restaurant, which for some reason serves Greek food. The only other pubs I've frequented are the Brew-Pub, or Kingston Brewing Company, which brews its own mean range of beers, and The Merchant pub, which has good live music on some nights and a friendly, dancing crowd down near the waterfront. I've briefly been inside a more upmarket type wine bar called the Tango, which serves good Tapas apparently and a big range of cocktails, but it's not cheap.
So while I've been here for quite a while, I seem to not have discovered all that much about my adopted Canadian hometown. Let's just say I've concentrated my time and effort on drinking and carousing and soccer watching at the Touc, perhaps to the detriment of seeing other places or sights.
But I'm here for about another month, so look out for further posts on my last-minute adventures.